


Here's the thing

by thestagandthewolf



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drabbleish, F/M, Oneshot, Pre - Robert's Rebellion, Pre-A Game of Thrones, Rated M for language, Robert enjoys bugging Ned 2.0, Robert is still a potty-mouth, just for fun, mention of Robert/Lyanna - Freeform, more fun with Robert and Ned, well fun for Robert not for Ned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 23:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestagandthewolf/pseuds/thestagandthewolf
Summary: Two of Robert's favourite things come together: Lyanna and bugging Ned.AKA: The one where Robert annoys Ned by talking about how much he wants Lyanna.





	Here's the thing

Ned often said that Robert didn’t truly know or love Lyanna. He believed that Robert only saw her pretty face and that was it. But the truth of the matter was quite opposite. Ned didn’t know the extent of Robert and Lyanna’s relationship. He didn’t realise that the ‘iron underneath’ that he always spoke of in regards to his sister was what Robert had fallen in love with. Lyanna was more that just a pretty face and a desirable figure, and Robert had learned that the first time they met. He had been attracted by her looks, there was no denying that, but it wasn’t long into their first conversation that he realised there was so much more to her. She wasn’t like the other ladies he had met, although she could dress up and act cordially like the best of them. She was stubborn and strong-minded. She could ride horses and fight with swords better than many men. She challenged him. She tantalized him. She pushed his buttons and infuriated him. She didn’t fall at his feet and worship the ground he walked on. She made him work. She flustered him. She could turn his confidence to mush with just one look. She was everything he wanted in a woman and more. 

That was why he was so willing to go along with her rules and respect her wishes during their painfully long betrothal. Robert had had many other women in his young lifespan. He had enough of them to know exactly what he liked and what he didn’t. The ladies with the pretty faces and tight little bodies that worshipped him were all fine and good for a one night run in, but if he kept them around for any longer than that they could get very annoying, very quick. Not to mention their fathers were never too happy with him afterwards, if they were daughters of Lords or landed knights. There were many men in the Eyrie that despised Robert for this very reason, and it had left Jon Arryn with a pile of apologies to make it up to them. 

Common girls were easier, but in most cases they were too easy. They would throw themselves at him whenever he passed through one of their villages. The parents weren’t a problem here though as most of them knew they couldn’t speak out against someone with Robert’s standing and some of them thought themselves lucky that a future Lord chose their daughter to bed. But there was no thrill in bedding these girls. There was no challenge. He’d choose a girl and she’d willingly spread her legs for him, and then she’d lay there like a statue until he got his release. 

At least the ladies made him work for it. He would have to charm them and woo them, and tantalize their senses until they forgot about those social customs of virtue and honor. It was the thrill of the chase. It was also the thrill of knowing that they wanted him for his talents, not just because he was a noble. They would scream his name, and it was passionate, and it was exhilarating, and it was bliss.

And now he was celibate. He was proving to his dear, sweet Lyanna -with Ned as his chaperone- that he could stay true to her and only her. His reputation had proceeded him to the North, it seemed, and somehow it had gotten in Lyanna’s pretty, little head that Robert had a bit of a carnal hobby. It was all true, of course. He just wished she didn’t know. Now she didn’t trust him. She didn’t believe he could love her and only her for the rest of their lives. So he had to gain her trust before she would give herself over to him. It was proving to be a difficult task.

The problem wasn’t necessarily refraining from having sex with other women, it was refraining from having sex at all. He had never gone this long without sex before, at least not since before his first time. It was no easy task. Especially not for someone who looked like him, or had his reputation. The excessive wine drinking didn’t help all that much either. Or the fact that women kept coming on to him when he was a few cups in. He wanted to say yes, gods did he ever want to, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to bring random girls into his bed anymore. He only wanted one particular girl in his bed, or her bed, or the gods wood, or wherever the fuck she wanted. But old habits die hard and this one in particular was refusing to draw its last breath. 

Ned didn’t quite understand Robert’s dilemma. He just knew that his sister wouldn’t be happy being married to a man that wouldn’t stay faithful to her. So he had been honest with Robert and told him that if he broke his promise to Lyanna, she would know, because he would tell her. It was fair enough, and Robert had been secretly glad. If he knew he was being watched, he would be less likely to fall to temptation. But it had been three months since the two men left Winterfell, and Robert was starting to get cranky. The real problem was that Ned would listen to none of his excuses. 

“Here’s the thing, Ned,” Robert began in a hushed voice one night as they sat by the fire in some inn near the Riverlands, “I don’t want to fuck other girls,”

“Good then I won’t have to report back to your future wife,” Ned interrupted with that stupid knowing grin.

“Just hear me out. I don’t want to fuck other girls, because I just want to fuck Lyanna,” Robert stated it matter-of-factly, as if it put everything into a new light. Ned just grimaced.

“That’s my sister, Robert,”

“Yes, and she will be my wife one day. Do you know what husbands and wives do? Do you know how they make little lords and ladies? Didn’t we already have this conversation long ago?”

Ned released a sigh, and turned his attention to emptying his cup. He was used to Robert’s witty back talk by now. Especially after a bit too much wine, “You said it yourself, Rob, she will be your wife one day. You are not her husband yet. And I doubt you ever will be if she finds out you can’t stick to your word.”

“But just… just hear me out. Its not exactly being unfaithful if I don’t want the girl I bring to my bed, is it? Its just a little practice run. Like how you use a tourney sword before the real thing.”

Ned didn’t respond. He just stared at Robert incredulously. Robert waited, eyebrows raised curiously until Ned finally answered, “You are joking right?”

“What?”

“Did you just compare bedding an innocent woman with learning to fight with practice swords?”

Robert smirked. It was a rather ingenious comparison, “I mean, you can see the connection. The sword represents the-“

Ned help up a hand to stop his friend there, “Yeah, I get it. But its not really the same. They are people, they have feelings, and it doesn’t matter whether you want them or not, its still considered breaking your promise if you take any of them to your chambers.”

A pout formed on Robert’s lips. “Its just that I wouldn’t be in this predicament if your sister-“

Ned interrupted him again, “We are not having this conversation, Robert.”

“But she is just so enticing. You have no idea the things she does to me, or the things she makes me want to do to her-“

“Robert, please, just stop.” Ned had an almost pained look on his face, “Remember you are talking about my sister.”

“Yeah, I certainly haven’t forgotten who we were talking about, nor has the rest of me, if you know what I mean,”

“That is disgusting, I don’t want to hear about that.”

“Well you wouldn’t have to listen to me if you just wrote to Lyanna and-“

“I’m not writing my sister to tell her to… to…” Ned always got flustered with this topic.

“Fuck me?” Robert finished helpfully, smirking.

“Alright I am leaving now,” He stood up and drained the last drops from his cup of wine. 

“Aw come on Stark, I was just messing with you!”

Ned was already halfway across the room, and he didn’t look back as he answered, “You can go figure this out for yourself, Baratheon.”

Robert’s laugh bellowed out into the almost-empty room, and he leaned back into his chair, continuing to drown out his senses with wine. It would have been easy for Robert to go and seduce the barmaid and sneak her into his room for some fun without Ned knowing. Certain parts of him were furious that he didn’t take that opportunity, but he had a conscience. That stupid voice in the back of his head that reminded him of Winterfell and his future wife and how much he wanted to prove her wrong. It wasn’t just his stubborn determination that guided his decision though, a part of him wanted to prove to himself that he could stay loyal to Lyanna. It wasn’t as hard as he made it sound, not really. He didn’t really even want to bring a random girl to his bed like he used to. He would probably just end up pretending it was Lyanna, anyways. With a sigh, Robert picked up the half-empty flagon of wine and receded to his room, alone once again. 


End file.
